Moving, and Clearing Out Trash From My "Straight" Years...

So I don't think I've mentioned this yet on here, but I'm moving. Don't get excited (I'm not)... I'm not moving back to the city yet. This is a move that my father is making and I'm caught along with it for now. Basically I'm moving from inland-suburban hell to shoreline-suburban hell...

My family has done a lot of moving over the past few years, much of it while I was living at school, and as a result a lot of my things have just been crammed in storage and I haven't really organized them since high school. I spent the afternoon trying to look through some boxes that were jammed into my closet while I was away, and was pretty shocked by some of the things I found - artifacts from when I was a "straight" adolescent.

For one thing, I was surprised how much of my old video game collection from when I was a kid was there. I was a Sega person back in the 90s and went through most of their systems - Genesis, Sega CD, 32X, Saturn, Dreamcast - before switching to Playstation, then Nintendo, then falling completely out of the loop with video games. I guess I had some rich relatives who were willing to buy me that shit when I was a little kid. So here's some porn for 90s Sega people; part of my Saturn video game collection:

Then as I got deeper looking through all my old shit, things started to look a bit more strange. I honestly don't remember the story behind why I had these, but in a trunk I found three years worth of issues (2000-2002) of Maxim magazine:

Yes, that's Tara Reid on the top.

Even stranger is the fact that they're all addressed a female friend's older sister... I'm assuming it was part of some weird ironic art project (yes, I was into irony in high school, but I got it all out of my system before I moved to New York), based on the girl's sister's genuine interest in that magazine.

And then I stumbled onto my straight porn. I found a couple of VHS tapes a friend and I had stolen from someone's dad. They were extremely dated, all shot in the 80s, so they were kind of fun to watch and we used to quote and imitate the characters in a sort of campy gay way - though I ended up being the only gay one, exclusively at least. Here's She's a Boy Toy:

And Homegrown Video Vol. 149...

I only wish I could put up clips, or had at least found some of the other ones I had like Forbidden and Car Wash Angels.... If anyone knows where I can find these on YouTube let me know. I think I'm about to throw away all this shit.

This Week in Human Cooking...

Someone hacked the Sears online store to display this item in their "Grills to Cook Babies" department:

The department store is currently offering a grill on their website under the categories, "Human Cooking > Grills to Cook Babies and More > Body Part Roaster."

We called a Sears customer service rep for an explanation, who told us: "Oh my God. This is horrible. Oh my God."

TMZ: The Perfect Grill...for a Cannibal

Vince Ferelli and Josh Griffin

Click here for more!

Movers n Shakers (Hot House)

Check out the rest of this set at the Hot House Backroom

Edward M. Kennedy
1932 - 2009

Bill O'Reilly and Spike Lee

Bill O'Reilly describes his meeting with Spike Lee in a public restroom:

"Spike Lee and I know each other a little bit, primarily from the New York Knicks game. I'm in the men's room. about 2 years ago, 3 years, Spike Lee comes walking into the men's room. Now I'm 6' 4", Spike is, what, 5' 2". So I'm at the urinal. Spike kind of saunters up two away from me. He looks up and he goes, "You find any weapons of mass destruction in here?" [Laughs] You got to give him props for that line."

Huffington Post: Bill O'Reilly Describes His Men's Room Encounter With Spike Lee

Suggested Friends..?

For some reason Facebook keeps trying to make me add Grace Jones as a friend. I can't see any logical reason for this - no friends in common, as far as I know. The only logical explanation is that Facebook is at it again using one of their creepy formulas to figure out my sexual orientation, which I've always left blank.

I wrote about my theory that Facebook has formulas to determine your sexual orientation and race a long time ago in an old post you can check out here. I guess they've become more subtle...

Fuck it, I'm just gonna add her already.

A Boy from Scott

Picked this boy up from Scott at Bill in Exile:

Erik Rhodes in Slick It Up Gear

From House of Vader:

L.A. Zombie
Slick It Up

Spencer Reed and Ty Tucker

Click here for more!

Check out the rest of this set at Naked Kombat

In case you needed a diagram...

Bonnie Tyler - "Total Eclipse of the Heart"
koufukuron

Jarman

Dak Ramsey and Nomad

Click here for more!

Check out the rest of this set at Bound Gods

Kathy Griffin and Levi Johnston

This is probably the most intelligent thing I've seen on CNN in a while. Kathy Griffin interviews Levi Johnston coming the day after their date last night to the Teen Choice Awards. For some reason I think Levi is cute as hell:

Gawker: America's New It Couple Kiss and Tell on Larry King Live

Monday Morning Men

Thanks to Leatherpigboy at KinkPage:

High School, Boys, Identity, and High Art

There's this memory that's come back to me in recent days, from high school. I think it might be very loosely based on the death of John Hughes (as both Brat Pack-ers and queer independent film followers will understand), but here goes:

On a Saturday night during my senior year of high school, when I was 17 years old, me and a good friend got back to my place after an unnecessarily complicated drug deal that had us driving around town for a few hours, navigating our way to the guy by cell phone, for some weed that wasn't too cheap, but our main source had dried up so we were stuck. We smoked up, and made the decision to head to a party a block away and up a hill, that was being thrown by a friend we'd come to mistrust. We were sure the party was gonna be bad, but if we went stoned we could at least laugh at it together - marijuana provided a safe way for a couple of teenage males to build trust and empathy that allowed for that kind of bond.

Anyway, we showed up and our friend was already drunk, with some people we vaguely knew, wrestling team guys, our old dealer, and a kid who we'd been friends with years ago but who'd started acting weird, especially towards me (which will probably end up as another post on here eventually...). One reason that night was notable was that after going through more than enough beers and smoking out a car, I got to see that kid get into a fight with with a wrestler and end up down on the concrete floor of the garage, his jaw busted open.

But afterward, having been through enough drama and alcohol, we wandered back to my house. We ordered pizza, drank some more beer, probably smoked another bowl. We were lying on my futon, barely able to move, and I had the remote and happened to see that this movie called High Art was on. It's an independent film from 1998 and it's about a young woman who's seduced by an older lesbian photographer, played by Ally Sheedy (there's your Breakfast Club connection). I pretty much forced my straight friend to watch it with me, as we went through the pizza and started drifting off.

Ally Sheedy and Radha Mitchell

Later on, he told me that was one of the first times he suspected I might be gay - the night when, after watching a kid we'd been friends with in middle school get his ass beat, we were stoned as fucked and I forced him to watch High Art. I've kind of always had a soft spot for that film and for Ally Sheedy because of that. It's a weird memory, and it reminds me of a time in development when identity isn't something that you accept, but it's something you fight, and try to beat down, or try to smother down with drugs or alcohol, or whatever else will put a boy your age in bed with you.

Kyle King

Click here for more!

Movers N Shakers (Hot House)
Check out the rest of this set at the Hot House Backroom

Happy Birthday...

I just got this message on Manhunt:

ur the ugly little fuck who hooked up with my ex boyfriend. u broke us up douche bag. happy birthday. mine was yesterday.

He's referring to something that happened nearly four years ago, when I found out that my first fuck buddy had started seeing someone - only after we had hooked up for the last time and the guy started stalking me online and making crazy phone calls.

He doesn't take into account the six month period after all that had died down when the two of them emailed me over and over again asking for a three way.

Anyway, I thought this message was kind of hilarious because for some reason he tells me to have a happy birthday (my birthday was two months ago), probably just so he can say it was his yesterday and try to make me feel guilty for his seeing my profile on his birthday...

Why the Public Option Sucks!!

The Far Left Side

Race Cooper and Dak Ramsey

Click here for more!

Check out the rest of this set at Naked Kombat