I recently, reluctantly, changed the location on my Manhunt profile back to my town in CT where I'm staying for the summer, and doing so has suddenly brought back many of my old fuck buddies and one-time encounters, including this one:
Back when I was 18 years old - still innocent, and reeling from feeling betrayed by my first fuck buddy/boyfriend/something like that - I made a few bad decisions. There was this one guy I met from online, and his strategy for getting me was to play this paranoia card about gay men. He told that most men are crazy and irresponsible, but that he knew how to treat me right, and for some reason I bought that.
I quickly found out that this wasn't the case when I met him, because I immediately realized that he'd lied to me about his physical characteristics. He had told me that he was 5'9. In reality, he was probably more like 5'3, and being 5'7 myself this was noticeable to me immediately. Still, when he picked me up I rode with him for more than an hour (this was the suburbs) back to his place. We had a surprisingly hot hook up - though probably not worth the distance - and he proved to be great at handjobs, considering that he was driving stickshift.
Then things got weird and he began to act strangely possessive. He began to call me everyday to say hi and to see if I had been fooling around with anyone else... A few days into this, I missed one of his calls and he left an angry message saying that he was sure I was out fucking someone else and probably had AIDS. From then on I shut him out, which was easy to do seeing as his house was an hour away and he had no idea where I lived. Every once in a while he would message me online with his phone number asking if we could make out in his truck.
So last night, out of boredom, I actually responded to his email and gave him my AIM screen name. He asked if we could hang out and about how many guys had fucked me over and given me an STD... Here's his latest message from tonight:
peace good luck jus remember 95% of gay guys in other gay guys sex triangles end up with open herpes sores in there mouths little warts u can barely c hiv virus herpes and many many more jus a matter of time
I think this serves as a good reminder for myself, to always be safe and to never trust men from Manhunt or who live in the suburbs.
Well, after a long, reasonably debauched senior week, I finally graduated from college.
This would be something I'd be much happier about if everything had gone the way I'd originally planned, and assumed my graduation would be like. I was supposed to have a job lined up and ready for me to slide into upon graduation, and also be published in a magazine or two. Then on Graduation Day I was going to move right into my new apartment in Chelsea or Hell's Kitchen (NOT Brooklyn) and live out my Vincent DeSalvo-esque
life as a young kid in the city with a kinky streak but who passes as a twink when he needs to (i.e: when he needs it to get taken to Fire Island).
But of course, as time went on I started having to take into account "reality" and the "recession"...
The reality is that this is probably the worst possible time for a kid like me to be looking for a job. At this point most of my friends - including ones who've been out of school for a year or more - are either still looking for work, or being laid off. So far I've gotten zero response from any place I've sent my resume out to, probably because every available job is going to someone's friend who's been fired. This is going to take time, and patience, because even my connections can't afford to pull through just yet.
Basically, what it comes down to is that right now, I'm back in Connecticut...at my dad's...until I've saved some more money and get a decent job back in New York.
To demonstrate how horrible this situation is, here's a message I just got on Manhunt, after switching my address. The kid is 19 years old, from England, and seems to be trapped here too:
Subject: CT sucks monkey balls
Date: Tue 26 May 2009 12:54 AM
fuck, i'm not lieing man, you are one of the hottest guys i have seen on here
what's up dude?
if you have AIM message me
b*********
i'm in ct
im not into hookups
i dont like gay bars, shopping for clothes, shaving off my body hair, or
britney spears
im just a dude looking any other normal dudes around
pce
But I'm not about to try and save this kid when I need to be rescued myself. To make it through this summer (and the recession), these are the three things I'm going to need:
- Money (donations, tips, checks, PayPal...)
- To have a decent paying job by September, or else I may have to take drastic measures... (apply to grad school)
- Someone to take me to Fire Island, pay for my drinks, and maybe suck me sometimes
So if anyone wants to help me out with any of those three things, feel free to get in touch. Think of it as making an investment in this site.
And ONE FINAL NOTE: for some god damn reason I keep forgetting that my birthday is next week... I guess this starts to happen with the years that come after 21.
Someone on Craigslist put up an open letter to John Gechter (aka Vincent DeSalvo), that kid who got kicked out of his Christian college for doing some sets with Randy Blue, since he's moving to New York. Seeing as I myself am a 21 year old kid with some fans on the internet who's gonna be looking for any work I can get, I'm pretty sure most of this could apply to me (...and has in the past!)
• Don’t move to Chelsea. You’ll end up plucking your eyebrows.
• The folks in Williamsburg will resent you for being employed, even if it’s as a porn star.
• The kids in Hells Kitchen will want you because you’re masculine.
• The men in the East Village will want you because you’re boyish.
• The Latin studs in Washington Heights will want you because you’re a bottom.
• The butchest ones will want you because they’ll think you’re a top.
• Some math: twenty-one yo online = eighteen or younger in real life, twenty-four = twenty-four, twenty-nine = thirty-five, thirty-five = forty-seven.
• Don’t sleep with actors, directors, bartenders or your neighbors. You’ll regret it, they’re all psychos.
• Have sex with at least three hot, interesting people your first week. They’ll be your closest friends for the summer. After that, they'll cut you off because their boyfriends are jealous.
• Learn to play pool and don’t shave your chest.
• The Lower East Side coke dens are great places to meet broke coke addicts.
• Fashion parties are great places to meet borderline pedophiles who will offer you work that never materializes.
• Dive bars are great places to meet alcoholics who want to be writers and smell like beer in the morning.
• Become a casual smoker. It gives you an excuse to take someone outside a bar or club and see them in the streetlight well enough to decide whether you really want to sleep with them.
• If someone invites you to stay at their house in Fire Island (and surely they will), you’re no longer obligated to put out. Those are the old rules. Just wear a Speedo at all times. This will entitle you to do all their drugs and leave wet towels on the floor.
• Dog ownership and alcoholism don’t mix.
• Boyfriends are sluts.
• Careers and boyfriends don’t mix.
• Somehow boyfriends, promiscuity, dogs, alcoholism, fashion, Latins and employment do mix well together. All that polarity crosses itself out and shit.
Craigslistvia
GawkerPicture from
spunked.eu
I'm taking a break from hell (writing final papers on race theory in the middle of the night while wasted as fuck) to vent.
I've been going through a crisis lately - not a mid-life one, but it might have something to do with the fact that I'm about to graduate from college and my life is gonna change dramatically. But what's been happening is that lately I've been reverting back to something I hadn't done much of since high school - I've been playing thrash metal guitar...
I don't write about it much on here but along with being a student, a drunk, and a writer, I'm pretty good at music. I've been a self-taught piano/keyboard player since I was six years old, and I've been playing guitar for about nine years now. See, before I was gay, I used to be a "rock guy," and was really into metal. I even had a band in high school that didn't go anywhere. What ended up happening was rock music got bad at about the same time that I was starting to come out and explore being gay and electro and stuff. Needless to say, I started to leave guitar playing behind and bought myself a Korg.
These days, with all the stress of getting ready to enter the real world, I guess I'm retrogressing (there's a word from race politics!) and I've found myself picking up my old guitar a lot more. The problem is that my old equipment is shot. My old amp blew out a few years ago when one of my friends plugged his bass into it when I wasn't around, and my old Fender's been beaten around to the point where the pickups don't work right anymore - plus it was never that great for shredding. I've needed a new guitar for a while, and buying a second one is kind of a bigger deal than buying the first.
The point is, I need a new guitar and a new amp, and I'm almost thinking about blowing part of my savings (that I've been keeping for, you know, the real world...) on it, but I dunno. The easiest thing would be if I could get someone to sponsor me for it, and trust me, I look sexy with a guitar. Anyone wanna buy me an Ibanez?
