Thursday

This was the straight night.

We were celebrating my friend's twenty-fourth birthday and went to a great Ethiopian restaurant near Avenue B. The bottle of Tej wine we went through got us started out and we started hitting up bars on our way to a karaoke bar that my friend said she had heard about a few blocks south - she demanded that I drink enough to get me to the point where I'd sing.

That accomplished, I tried to get the girls to sing "Love Bites" by Def Leppard but no one was responding, so I decided on Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart," which everyone in the bar got into and started singing. Did I mention that each of the bars we went to was completely straight? I didn't see one gay guy the entire night. I guess if I had put on a song that was actually gay like "A Little Respect" by Erasure, no one would have known the words. At one point I'm pretty sure I gave out the address of this blog to a straight girl...

Here's me drunk and looking vulnerable on a street corner at 4 a.m.


By this time we had missed the last Metro North train. We'd been drinking since six in the evening so by three a.m. everyone was starting to crash. I tried to convince the girls to let these friendly, attractive straight men take us to their apartment for whatever they were up for, but they weren't into the idea. We went to a Dunkin' Donuts where I drank a lot of coffee and then we took the 6 up to wait outside of Grand Central.

We noticed something funny when we got up there. It was 4:30 a.m. and there was a huge line of women and small children that stretched around the New York Public Library from Bryant Park. By now I was both still drunk and also energized from all the coffee. I went up to a group of kids and shouted at them, "What's going on, is Barack Obama here?" and they shouted back at me, all looking excited and alert, "Miley Cyrus is here!" This was almost too much for me to handle, I was hysterical laughing. We'd missed the train, been out drinking, and ended up stumbling on a Hannah Montana event.


Those of you who read this blog know that I disapprove of Miley Cyrus as a role model for my six year old niece. Given the chance to fuck around with some of the fans I took it. I had my camera on me and started going around to families in line, telling them I was a "celebrity blogger" and asking them questions about how much they loved Miley Cyrus, how long the had been there (many of the ones I asked said they'd been there since 1 a.m., and the concert wouldn't start until 8:30). I took a lot of pictures of their posters and they were all really eager to pose.


Most had come from Long Island and Jersey, but I found one group that said they were from California. When I asked one mother, in front of her kids, if she thought they were going to be able to get in to see Miley, she snapped back at me, fiercely, "Everyone here is going to get in." Her image as a good mother in her kids' eyes was probably riding on this.

After all that fun, we got back to Grand Central and took the 5:40 train back to my friend's apartment. I tried to get in as much sleep as I could before going back downtown for the next night; which has still got my dick feeling sore...